Beautiful saviour

Do you believe that God can help you, through rough winds and while sailing on wild seas? Do you believe that God can make the paralysed, a walking testimony? Do you believe in miracles that u think it's plain bullshit like Jesus' walk on the water before? When i was typing this, i can feel God talking to me, deep down knocking through my heart, " Open the door and u shall receive." Like he opens up the deafs and make them listen. Today i ask myself, how much of my faith do i put in god?

-Beautiful saviour is such a nice song. I was singing it at church and i was really touched. I mesmerise all the lyrics , process em and thought deeply of each word. It was ah-mazing.

I saw the doctor today at um hospital and he recommends surgery. I know the thought of it is like damn scary- like holy shitt. I was damn sad and depressed when i heard my first news from dr.shue at sjmc. i cried like some baby. It's a normal response lah i MEAN hu the hell smiles and walks back unless u've heard GOOD NEWS. I'm starting to accept it as it is. And thinking of it, a lot of ppl are way worse than me. Btw, dr kwan said a lot of really soothing words and he was really caring and nice. Mind u, dr kwan has gorg eyes. I was literally staring at it, it was a lil like zac effron's. whew-! Damn, he's old like 33. ;(

P.s i think his secretary is like a mistress and i think she drools all over him. wth. It's just my envious analysation.

Anyway, it's about the outcome, of course and prof surgeons. Dr kwan and shue are the best in town. So i'll let God guide me and speak through my mind.

Benefits fr surgery:
a) My spinal won't become worse permanently
b) From 40 degrees, it can become 20 and since i hv a flexible spinal, it might hv a better outcome, like 10.
c) I will get to walk straight and not afraid of any posture changes forever.
d) My lung capacity will be wider and organs and bla bla.
e) I will grow 2.5 cm taller because of my curvature before the surgery. that means i'll be 166 cm. (:

Please if u read this come to me quietly and ask questions. Please don't shout fr far or act ridiculously. I am sensitive and mind u, i am writing this to people i'm concern not busybodys.

I can't play on broken strings..

Going to school makes my problem a lil less depressing. Thinking of it, it's not that scary if it's for my big bright future. (: I realized how much my parents, church ajks and friends love me. Now to think.. if it permanently doesn't gets worst like 100%. I might do it. I mean how pain can it be? And i'm sixteen dude. Tak kan wanna wait till 70? Suffer more?

Today is the suckiest day. My fucking agent from taman negara says she'll send the quotation every night but no-action. Stupid-lazy-got money in front of her EYES, don't wanna earn while ppl out there have no jobs due to recession-???? Like wtheck rite? pisses me off, it's such a SIMPLE job. A quotation, how hard can it be? i mean it's her daily job! S-T-U-P-I-D. Ugh!

People like her make me racist. Damn it, i'm getting like 1% more racist everyday. She shud stay with the pigs weii.

-Jan is sick, so i can't blab that much. ;( Since she came, i blab like twice more than last yr. She is really hilarious not like cindy that pretends to laugh, nyahaha joking lah. But it's a lil true. ;)

There are FOUR persons that i can tell lame jokes to and not feeling lame back:
1. Jan da man. Too bad there's no fuschia here, but this color suits her bimbo-ness the most.
2. Pei the bionic woman
3. Bob ang
4. Kiss my ass- you know who you are (;

I can feel like i'm soon gonna turn like sue telling ppl lame jokes and laugh myself. hahaha! Sue has this funny gesture where she flaps her hands in the air while laughing. Funny eh, that's how the guys immitate.

Ok i have to do my h/w. So ta-da-da.

If u have a 50..50, Would u risk it for the better or let fate decide?

Today, is not a good day. In fact, it is my worst. What happened today is a mind playing game, a game so hard and tough, solid, like an ice impenetrable. i can't really describe it. All i know is that when i wake up the next morning it'll still be there. Waiting for me to decide. Today made me realised how weak am i at handling things. Today is a nightmare, God, pleasee u have to help and guide me.

I came back at 1pm from somewhere, all puffy eyes, drenched and mind shuffling with questions, i need answers. What he said, was it true or is it the fact that i am denying. If i do not do it, will it become worse? How can i not stop growing? What should i do??

In this situation, who can i believe?
- God take it all from me. Guide me to the path.

Whoever that reads this, must be curious of what happened. I assure u, im fine. I need a thinking space, that's all.

I am so tired, today is depressing, i can't blame anybody. In the end, it's still fate.

serenade me..

Firstly, I wanna thank almighty heavenly father/god/holy spirit/ jesus for letting 4 delta win 3RD in the top 3 drama competition! ( I'm super satisfied honestly, i didn't even expect it but we did it!!! yay!) i mean hell yeah, who knows we can honestly get it. Thanks to a bunch of hilarious and talented actors and actresses, thanks everyone for being together as a team, tho there were times when we were so mad at each other. I really feel bad for being so mean. ;/ Here, i wud wanna say sorry!

What are we gonna do with the 200 dollars?
-haven't thought of it tho. LOL!

I din't go school today, cos we were gna do some mad 5km run. So i am now blogging my time off. I am working my arse of for the taman negara trip .According to ms.lin i'll get the quotation and itinerary today. I'm bringing to sch tmr and show steph and sue ONLY. cos i don't want unwanted lame ass ppl kacau me like wat they did to sue for the pangkor trip. I don't want complains fr i-know-hu also cos she/he is like the person that bring everyone's mood down. I'm gna plan everything and perhaps after sports day or smtg show them.

I am gonna ask steph's dad on getting us a bettter hotel/ chalet wtv. cos the one they offer at t.negara is like a quite-ugly-dorm. Everyone will complain so bla bla bla. Can't wait for it actually since after i check everything. (:

Oh yea, talking bout ystd, i camwhore like a gazillion times. Especially i now present a camwhore throne to Hungry Han Sue-Anne! Whoever that wants to camwhore, it's her, your rank 1 buddy.

I am now gonna watch 90210 epi 9.. and catching a movie marathon later. Sice i've got all da itme baby!

Poker face!

Sometimes, when your friend introduces someone to you or otherwise, you judge that person before u even know him/her. I think its just a natural habit deep within me, i can't change. But i do feel bad. ;( I mean imagine i possess that, that would be sad, wouldn't it? Gah, but sometimes some people just look so weird u know, like u wouldn't wanna know them any futher, there is just this thingg i suppose.

resolutions: i'm gonna start to talk to the guy who sits at our lunch table without judging him. ( he won't read my blog, so watever, ;) )
- i have to be kind and loving and friendly from now on.. talk to the people i don't know like this girl in my class whom i haven't talk to her since school started. i mean i did la, Just a few words. Like," excusee me, can u lower you head a bit, so i can see the whiteboard."

what an unfriendly friend i am. But get to know me, then u'll know how fun i can be ;)


My mum finally came back from hong kong and china with lots of stuff for us( me and bro) He has freakin 3 sport shoes and i got a cute white one which i honestly like. I mean i've been wanting it cos i only hv a sport shoe at home which i use for bloody cross country every yr and running. So it's pretty old. I can sometimes be forget the old and love the new. Which is so bad!! Like wtf, back in two yrs i love that sport shoe and now i just chuck it somewhere in the shoe cabinet. Not just this u know, many other stuff too. Silly bad me.

resolutions: Love the old and new. (;
* Love the old more. ;/

Btw, steph thinks zinger finger perfect is funny. So it's my new line.

Btw 2, i think su mae was damn pissed just now for drama. Oooops. Sorry la k.

Btw 3, i didn't mean to shout to the class for that bowing practice thingg, it was an accident. ooopps. S o pls no terasa feelings or bitching about me la k. I know you all love me. ;p

dee dee..

Remember the cartoon we used to watch when we were 6, 7.... dexter laboratory? thinking back, i hate that show weii, its like THE lamest boring tv cartoon ever and ed, eddn and eddy, that green booogie show. BTW I NEVER LIKED COURAGE THE COWARDLY DOG. ;( It is soo ridiculous, dunno why steph watches it. nyahaha! This is the best week in my- alrdy- boring- life. let me tell u why.

1st I GET TO GO NEAL AND NIGEL'S!!!!! WOOTS AND CHEERS!
2nd I am having a Drama competition TOMORROW! it's like pretty scary somehow, thinking when i'm typing this.. I am feeling rather nervous just like butterflies in- my- alrdy- fluttering -stomach. ;/ i am dee dee btw. The name alrdy is sooo cute. THUMBS UP**

3rd I felt like a million years never been looking forward to dressing up! (and dressing people up..)

4th I might see dan. bego this week. hehe (:

All this contributes to a big bright week. YAY!

tmrw is the huge, big day. I hope everything will be zinger finger perfect!