If u have a 50..50, Would u risk it for the better or let fate decide?

Today, is not a good day. In fact, it is my worst. What happened today is a mind playing game, a game so hard and tough, solid, like an ice impenetrable. i can't really describe it. All i know is that when i wake up the next morning it'll still be there. Waiting for me to decide. Today made me realised how weak am i at handling things. Today is a nightmare, God, pleasee u have to help and guide me.

I came back at 1pm from somewhere, all puffy eyes, drenched and mind shuffling with questions, i need answers. What he said, was it true or is it the fact that i am denying. If i do not do it, will it become worse? How can i not stop growing? What should i do??

In this situation, who can i believe?
- God take it all from me. Guide me to the path.

Whoever that reads this, must be curious of what happened. I assure u, im fine. I need a thinking space, that's all.

I am so tired, today is depressing, i can't blame anybody. In the end, it's still fate.