Beautiful saviour

Do you believe that God can help you, through rough winds and while sailing on wild seas? Do you believe that God can make the paralysed, a walking testimony? Do you believe in miracles that u think it's plain bullshit like Jesus' walk on the water before? When i was typing this, i can feel God talking to me, deep down knocking through my heart, " Open the door and u shall receive." Like he opens up the deafs and make them listen. Today i ask myself, how much of my faith do i put in god?

-Beautiful saviour is such a nice song. I was singing it at church and i was really touched. I mesmerise all the lyrics , process em and thought deeply of each word. It was ah-mazing.

I saw the doctor today at um hospital and he recommends surgery. I know the thought of it is like damn scary- like holy shitt. I was damn sad and depressed when i heard my first news from dr.shue at sjmc. i cried like some baby. It's a normal response lah i MEAN hu the hell smiles and walks back unless u've heard GOOD NEWS. I'm starting to accept it as it is. And thinking of it, a lot of ppl are way worse than me. Btw, dr kwan said a lot of really soothing words and he was really caring and nice. Mind u, dr kwan has gorg eyes. I was literally staring at it, it was a lil like zac effron's. whew-! Damn, he's old like 33. ;(

P.s i think his secretary is like a mistress and i think she drools all over him. wth. It's just my envious analysation.

Anyway, it's about the outcome, of course and prof surgeons. Dr kwan and shue are the best in town. So i'll let God guide me and speak through my mind.

Benefits fr surgery:
a) My spinal won't become worse permanently
b) From 40 degrees, it can become 20 and since i hv a flexible spinal, it might hv a better outcome, like 10.
c) I will get to walk straight and not afraid of any posture changes forever.
d) My lung capacity will be wider and organs and bla bla.
e) I will grow 2.5 cm taller because of my curvature before the surgery. that means i'll be 166 cm. (:

Please if u read this come to me quietly and ask questions. Please don't shout fr far or act ridiculously. I am sensitive and mind u, i am writing this to people i'm concern not busybodys.